For many years, I have mentioned to every new parent that I have met or even people who have been working on raising their children for a while, that ensuring that they focus their efforts on raising capable, confident, and independent children, then they will have done a great job in raising their children.

These following tips can help you meet those three criteria.

1. Encourage autonomy and decision-making: Allow your children to make age-appropriate choices and decisions. This helps them develop a sense of autonomy and responsibility. Start with small decisions and gradually increase their decision-making opportunities as they grow older. This also helps them to feel that they are part of the family and are an active member in the creation of the family culture.

2. Foster a growth mindset: Teach your children that their abilities and intelligence can be developed through effort and perseverance. Of course, bear in mind that some abilities may take more effort when they are not a natural ability. Encourage them to embrace challenges, learn from mistakes, and see failures as opportunities for growth.

3. Provide a supportive environment: Create a nurturing and supportive home environment where your children feel safe to explore, take risks, and express themselves. Show genuine interest in their activities, hobbies, and ideas, and provide constructive feedback and guidance when needed. The supportive environment should avoid them being negated, minimised, or campared to others.

4. Encourage independence and responsibility: Gradually assign age-appropriate responsibilities to your children. This could include household chores, managing personal belongings, or taking care of pets. Encourage them to take ownership of their tasks and develop a sense of responsibility. This is where a sense of contribution is developed. With the tasks, ensure that they understand that some tasks are compulsary because they are part of the family, and are others are tasks where they can earn pocket money.

5. Foster problem-solving skills: Help your children develop problem-solving skills by encouraging them to think critically and find solutions to challenges they encounter. Avoid immediately providing answers or solving problems for them. Instead, guide them through the process of identifying the problem, brainstorming possible solutions, and evaluating their effectiveness. Encouraging them to have a guess first as to what the answer may be does wonders for self-confidence.

6. Promote self-confidence: Praise and acknowledge your children's efforts, achievements, and strengths. Encourage them to set realistic goals and celebrate their successes, no matter how small. Help them develop a positive self-image and teach them to believe in their abilities.

7. Teach effective communication skills: Encourage your children to express themselves confidently and respectfully. Teach them active listening, empathy, and effective communication techniques. Help them understand the importance of clear and assertive communication in building relationships and achieving their goals. One of the most important aspects of communication is the use of manners.

8. Encourage curiosity and lifelong learning: Foster a love for learning by encouraging your children's natural curiosity. Provide them with opportunities to explore different subjects, hobbies, and interests. Support their educational pursuits and encourage them to ask questions, seek knowledge independently, and be open to new experiences.

9. Be a role model: Children learn a great deal by observing their parents and caregivers. Model the qualities you want to instil in your children, such as independence, confidence, resilience, and a growth mindset. Show them how to handle challenges, make decisions, and pursue their passions. Children will always model what you do and say long before they follow your advice on how they should behave.

Remember, raising capable, confident, and independent children is a gradual process that requires patience, consistency, and unconditional love. Tailor your approach to your child's unique personality, strengths, and interests, and adapt your strategies as they grow and develop.